Mythology
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Source use and citation exercise | Essay | Research Paper |
Paper Rubric | Arguing a point | Using Quotes |
Citing Sources |
Source Use and Citation Exercise
Goal:
The purpose of this exercise is to have practice (and get feedback from me) on how to argue a point from both primary and secondary sources, and how to cite primary sources in particular. Your goal: to use two primary source passages and one secondary source to argue a specific point.
Length: 2 pages (more or less), double spaced
Due date: Thursday, Sept. 20
Primary source passages:
· Any of those in your textbook in the Aphrodite chapter, as well as in the Artemis chapter where she appears in the play Hippolytus. M&L gives you the author, the title (and if applicable, book) and the approximate lines (each paragraph has lines but you may not know exactly which lines the passage you use are.)
Citation
Source How to cite it parenthetically Apuleius, The Golden Ass: Apul. Met. _______ (book and paragraph) Euripides, Hippolytus: EuEur. Hipp. ______ (approximate line numbers)
Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite: H. Hymn. Aph. ____ (approximate line numbers) Ovid Metamorphoses: Ov. Met. ______ (book and approximate line numbers) Plato, Symposium: Pl. Pl. Sym. ______ (just use the dang complicated numbers they give you)
Sappho (Aphrodite poem): Sapph. fr. 1 ________ (line numbers) (The fr. 1is for fragment, since her poems exist only in fragments and are collected according to a traditional numberical system.) Secondary source passage: Blundell, Olympian Goddesses (pp. 35-40 on Aphrodite)
Citation in a bibliography:
Blundell, Sue. 1995. Women in Ancient Greece. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. OR:
Blundell, Sue, Women in Ancient Greece (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1995)
In-text citation: (Blundell ___) (___ is the page number)
Note: if you cite a source at the end of a sentence, the period comes after the citation.
Possible points to argue/ support:
Aphrodite’s relationships with mortals represent, in mythic form, the dangers powerful women represent for men in the real world
Despite her unconventional behavior, Aphrodite is (or can be) a figure who represents the intimate, emotional, fulfilling aspects of love
Aphrodite is primarily a liminal goddess, whose mythology centers on the crossing of borders (social, sexual, divine/human, etc.)
As the Greeks perceived her, Aphrodite is a powerful and primaeval goddess, even though some myths trivialize her and associate her with human transgression.
Aphrodite fundamentally represents the overwhelming power of sex in different contexts.
Anything else you see in the sources (primary and/or secondary)
Procedure:
Since you are already familiar with the primary sources, read through the Blundell excerpt and see if there are points of view that seem to you particularly helpful in casting light on Aphrodite’s nature in the primary source passages that are most interesting to you. (Some possible arguments are listed above).
Determine what point (of those above, or your own) will be your thesis statement, and begin with that.
Use specific quotes from the primary sources to support the point.
Work in a comment from Blundell, either shortly following the thesis statement (if Blundell makes a specific point you want to follow through on your own treatment of primary sources) or in the course of arguing your own point.
When you use primary source quotes, be sure to point out the implications of each source you quote – make sure you make it clear to me what point you are using the quote to support.
You can use 5-10 line quotes and discuss them as a whole (pointing out specific elements) or you can make your argument central and work in shorter quotes that illustrate your point. For examples of these writing techniques, see Using Quotes. For a professional example of both strategies, see Achilles in Vietnam chapter 3.
For general hints on writing in general and writing from ancient primary sources in particular, see Miscellaneous Writing Guidelines.
Assignment description: A 2-3 page response to one of the prompts below, incorporating the required primary sources and two secondary sources. You may write on one of the two topics below. The first topic description (and to a lesser extent, the second)contains more questions than you can possibly address in one essay, so look at these descriptions as guides for a take on the topic that your own interests, insights and preferences will determine.
Goal: To discuss your own thoughts and interpretations of primary sources, with the assistance of secondary sources in forming and supporting your argument. (This is "step 2" in building to the research paper.) What I want to see you do here is engage with the primary sources for the myths you choose, using more complete versions of the kinds of text we have been seeing in extracts, and adding other sources that you have found and/or chosen yourself. Also central is using secondary sources more extensively, and exercising judgment about which ones work best for your purposes. This is an essay rather than a research paper, so the research (chocie of articles/book chapters) is more to find material to develop your perspective than to go deeply into a field that requires you to learn things that extend into a special field beyond the concerns of the class.
Length: 2-3 pages; I will take more if you get into it.
Due date: Tuesday, Oct. 23
Topic 1: Wrath(s) of Gods:
At times, various humans incur the wrath of a god or goddess. In this essay, you will look at a range of myths from different sources that describe the wrath of a god, its reasons, and its outcome. So:
Choose two deities to compare
Read a number of stories of their wrath (see materials below)
Analyze these myths to determine elements such as:
what inspires the wrath of a god? (betrayal, hubris, accident, challenge, preference for another human, circumstances, inevitable differences in point of view, etc.)
what is the previous relationship of the object of wrath and the deity (if any)?
are other deities involved in the exchange?
is there a reason to do with worship or cult?
is there a personal relationship between deity and victim?
is there actual contact between the two?
is there a moral point to the story?
does the deity show any mercy or offer opportunities for averting the wrath?
Determine whether there are consistent patterns in the wrath of the deity you chose.
Do all this with your other deity.
Compare the two and determine where there are significant similarities (that might define the overall relationship between gods and humans) and discrepancies (that might define the nature of the deities you are comparing)
Materials:
For this essay, you should use:
One of the extended narratives in ML that deal with the wrath of the gods (e.g. Bacchae, the Ovid stories of Actaeon, Niobe, etc., Io, etc.) I highly recommend looking at the extended narrative in the original text; texts are available online or in the library.
The “Wrath” sections of the individual gods in Theoi.com. Theoi.com is the best primary source web site out there, and it has collected a number of primary sources and categorized them by subject.
Two articles or book excerpts, one that that deals with one or both of the deities you are observing, and another that discusses one of the wrath relationships you are examining.
Topic 2: Themes of the Bacchae:
Argue one of the following interpretations of the Bacchae, or if you like, create your own that acknowledges the same range of ideas.
In writing the Bacchae, Euripides wants his audience to be aware of the horrors that losing rationality can cause. He warns that giving in to the irrational, even when it is inevitable, can cause incredible harm, and that humans should be wary of giving in to its temptations. He shows this through the desturction not only of Pentheus bot of those who had tried to obey Dionysus’ commands.
In the Bacchae, Euripides shows that the only harmful reaction to the irrational is to try to stop it, and that fully giving in to it is the way to true wisdom. The freedom offered by the loss of restriction and by intoxication is an unparalleled liberation, after which the bonds of earth pale in comparison. Only a wise man can live in both worlds.
In the Bacchae, Euripides gives a classic story of hubris and nemesis, in which the madness and ecstasy of the maenads are a secondary factor. The real story is the destruction of Pentheus for his slighting of Dionysus, and the punishment of Thebes for the dishonoring of Semele. The rest is just icing on the cake.
Euripides’ Bacchae, written at the end of his life, is primarily a spectacle of the world gone mad. Any morality or meaning is secondary to his drawing the audience into the experience of instability through his portrayal of the insanity of Pentheus, the raving of the maenads, the humiliation of Cadmus and Tiresias, and the pathetic insanity of Agave, showing a world that is veering out of control.
Materials: For this essay, you should use:
The complete text of the Bacchae. A good translation is available online here.
Two articles or book excerpts, one of which deals specifically with the Bacchae, and either another article on the Bacchae, or one that deals with the nature of Dionysus and may or may not specifically mention the Pentheus story and the Bacchae.
Other versions of the conflict in primary sources, to be found at Theoi.com under Dionysos: Wrath.
Assignment Description: A 5-6 page paper, incorporating research that goes beyond the material of the class, on a topic of your choice that centers on mythology and incorporates the concepts and some of the materials covered in class, but goes beyond the scope of material covered in class.
Goal: To explore an aspect of myth and its expression in literature in a way that delves into such elements as its central themes and vartiations, culural background, relation to other mythologies, literatures, cultural expressions, or sacred narratives and actions, using research skills in primary and secondary topics to ground your observations. This assignment is aimed at develping your ability to frame a topic effectively, pursue its potentials into a series of "questions" and points your can make in depth and effectively integrate in 5-6 pages, and support your points with both primary and secondary sources.
Due date: Thursday, Dec. 6. by 5:00 pm
Paper Proposal
Due date:Thursday, Nov. 8
The proposal should include:
A Title
A brief summary of the thesis
A summary of the primary sources and secondary sources you intend to use
At least 1 paragraph of coherent draft that uses a primary source and/or secondary source as its focal point.
The proposal is tentative.
I may offer suggestions for further defining, focusing, or expanding the topic.
You may later decide that another approach is more effective.
You may change your thesis as you get more deeply into the material.
Still, any approach/topic revision you make that is significantly different from the revised proposal you end up with after taking my comments into account, should be run by me.
Paper Topics:
Any aspect of mythology that incorporates the ideas and approaches treated in this class, and that relates in some way (centrally or comparatively) to material from the cultures covered in this class (Greek/Roman, Mesopotamian, Northern European).
Some suggestions:
Deity or Hero: Focus
on an aspect of a particular god, goddess, hero or heroine. This can
be a particular set of
myths or religious practices
surrounding that deity, or a particular range of meanings s/he had for his/her
society, or a study of ways in which that figure appears in the literature
and art of his/her society. For
example, "Zeus as the god of strangers," In which you discuss myths, cults,
and epithets of Zeus that show him in that light; "Artemis as the Protector of Young Animals,"
in which you discuss literary portrayals of Artemis in this light, look at
the iconography that shows her this way, and look into cult practices that
show this aspect of her; "Apollo's Lovers and the Nature of Apollo," in
which you look at different versions of his love affairs and use them to
discuss the ways in which Apollo is understood in Greek society, possibly
incorporating aspects of cult practice; "The Violence of Herakles," in which
you contrast and interpret the different aspects of Herakles as a helper to
humans and violator of human laws; and
so on.
I want to see signs that you are really exploring the deity's
importance, role in society, significance of myths, nature of that deity
relative to others, etc.
Figures or Motifs in Different Cultures:
Focus
on a figure from the mythology of a culture we don't study
in this course, and use figures we have studied (centrally, or in a couple
of paragraphs) for perspective on aspects of the figure you study.
Mythological Themes: Research
the occurrences of a mythological theme (e.g. creation myths; underworld
journeys; the end of the world) or figure (e.g. snakes; wise old women; the
sun and sun gods) in several different cultures. Usually 3-5 is
Mythological Themes in Later Works: Write
about the use of mythological themes in a modern author (poet, artist,
filmmaker).
Different Versions: Research different versions of a myth in primary sources and examine the themes and implications of the different portrayals. Example: "Orestes and Electra in Greek Drama," where you compare the different ways in which Greek dramatists portray these characters, observing how the telling of the story reinterprets the idea of the hero, revenge, family relationships, and other elements that are rewritten in different versions.
NOTE: In writing the paper, assume that your reader has the level of knowledge about the material that your classmates have gained over the semester. There is no need to retell myths from the cultures we have studied, although you should allude to them specifically so that there is enough for me or a classmate to follow. In myths or other works from outside "our" cultures, you will need to give details, but avoid long retellings of myths; instead, introduce the fundamentals of the myth or story, then elaborate details in thematically-focused discussion.
Sources:
This paper must use both primary sources and academic secondary sources. For some topics, either (a) the primary sources may be difficult to locate, or (b) academic secondary sources may be hard to come by. In these cases, acceptable alternatives are (a) scholarly secondary source accounts that reconstruct fragmentary primary sources (as is necessary with much Celtic and Egyptian mythology, for example), and (b) non-scholarly secondary sources whose points are interpreted in a scholarly way by you (for example, book or film reviews that raise themes you discuss in mythological terms). Still, if you have one of these problems, see me about it to be sure you're on the right track.
In work done for this class, you may use the method of citing sources that is used in your primary discipline (1.e. footnotes or parenthetical citiations). Both are used in Classical Studies, although parenthetical citations are becoming more common. BUT:
There is a standard way of citing Classical primary sources parenthetically, unlike other forms of citation, which you must follow when you use them in your paper. This method is detailed at UNC-Chapel Hill's IAM site.
For a general guide on citing this and other kinds of sources, see Haverford College's Guide to Citing Sources in Classics.
This is essentially the same text and argument, with two exceptions: in the second one, the author has (1) added brief quotes to support particular images and ideas in the argument and (2) analyzed the extended quote to point out specific ideas and images that support his/her point. Both "authors" make good points, but the second makes much better use of the primary sources to illustrate points.
Example 1:
The story of Zeus’s rise to power tracks the progression of the world from chaos to the order that makes it possible for humans to live in a civilized way. For Zeus to be established as the king of the gods in an orderly world, he had to depose his father Cronus and defeat the Titans in a violent battle. Then he bound the Titans in Tartarus, the deepest level of the underworld. The idea of binding shows that unlike Cronus, Zeus does not commit the crime of mutilating or killing his father, and also that the Titans are still present as a potentially dangerous chaotic force in the world.
A second battle, between gods and giants, appeared in several significant Greek friezes, and emphasized the way the gods overcame another monstrous threat to their reign. While the Olympian gods are celestial and powerful in ways that are helpful to humans, the giants may be depicted with snake legs and other things that associate them with the ancient powers of the earth that the Olympian gods have replaced.
A third battle Zeus must win is against the chaos monster Typhoeus:
The hands of the mighty god were strong in any undertaking and his feet were weariless. From the shoulders of his frightening dragon a hundred snake heads grew, flickering their dark tongues; fire blazed from the eyes under the brows of all the dreadful heads, and the flames burned as he glared. In all the terrible heads voices emitted all kinds of amazing sounds … and the great mountains resounded in echo (Hesiod, Theogony 820-835, quoted in Morford and Lenardon, p. 83).
Zeus defeats Typhoeus with his thunderbolt, showing his divine power and ending the reign of chaos on earth.
Example 2:
The story of Zeus’s rise to power tracks the progression of the world from chaos to the order that makes it possible for humans to live in a civilized way. For Zeus to be established as the king of the gods in an orderly world, he had to depose his father Cronus and defeat the Titans in a violent battle threatening all of creation, in which “the boundless sea echoed terribly, earth resounded with the great roar, wide heaven trembled and groaned …” (Hes.Th. 678-683). Hesiod’s description illustrates how Zeus showed his dominating power as he led the battle: “His heart was filled with strength and he showed clearly all his force,” fighting with “flashing bolts of lightning” (Hes.Th. 684-700). Then Zeus “sent [the Titans] down far beneath the broad ways of the earth to Tartarus [the deepest level of the underworld] and bound them in harsh bonds” (Hes.Th. 713-721). The idea of binding shows that unlike Cronus, Zeus does not commit the crime of mutilating or killing his father, and also that the Titans, despite being controlled by “harsh bonds,” are still present as a potentially dangerous chaotic force in the world.
A second battle, between gods and giants, appeared in several significant Greek friezes, and emphasized the way the gods overcame another monstrous threat to their reign. While the Olympian gods are celestial and powerful in ways that are helpful to humans, the giants may be depicted with snake legs and other things that associate them with the ancient powers of the earth that the Olympian gods have replaced.
A third battle Zeus must win is against the chaos monster Typhoeus, born of Gaia:
The hands of the mighty god were strong in any undertaking and his feet were weariless. From the shoulders of his frightening dragon a hundred snake heads grew, flickering their dark tongues; fire blazed from the eyes under the brows of all the dreadful heads, and the flames burned as he glared. In all the terrible heads voices emitted all kinds of amazing sounds … and the great mountains resounded in echo (Hesiod, Theogony 820-835, quoted in Morford and Lenardon, p. 83).
Typhoeus exemplifies chaos, with clashing elements of snakes (representing the earth) and flame, and the many different sounds he makes, so that he cannot be understood. Hesiod illustrates his power and threat to Zeus’s reign by emphasizing his tirelessness and strength, and the way he makes the earth resound. This makes clear the importance of Zeus’s victory, when he defeats Typhoeus with his thunderbolt, showing his divine power and ending the reign of chaos on earth.
Analysis:
Without my even trying, a few more points emerged as I wrote the first part of the second example, as the specific quotes brought further ideas to mind. This can happen with you too! The first paragraph is livelier and (because the quotes raised more nuanced ideas) a little more insightful and detailed. The second quote is given whole for effect, but the author has pointed out some specific places where the imagery of Typhoeus represents chaos specifically, and relates this to the force of Zeus’s final victory.
When you use myths, you should tell them in a way that highlights the ideas you are offering about your subject. In other words, use parts of the myth to illustrate the theme. The examples that follow discuss Hermes as a trickster figure with evidence based on the Homeric Hymn to Hermes.
AVOID THIS:
Hermes was a trickster figure. Soon after he was born, he stole the cattle of his brother Apollo. He drove the herd of fifty cattle backwards and brought them to a cave where he hid them. An old man saw him but Hermes asked him not to tell what he had seen. Then Hermes made fire and sacrificed two of the cattle, and sneaked back home and went to bed. When Apollo found out that his cattle had been stolen, he confronted Hermes, but Hermes pretended he was only a little baby and couldn’t have pulled off the theft. Apollo was going to punish him, and dragged him before Zeus. But finally Hermes gave Apollo the lyre he had made, which satisfied Apollo, and he gave the cattle back.
Problems with this: The author has really made only one general point: That Hermes is a trickster. But what exactly does that mean? And what specific ideas does the Homeric Hymn bring up that relate to his role as trickster? The author may realize that there are some subtleties there, but mentioning them in his/her retelling of the myth doesn’t really highlight them for me to see his/her thought. What I see is a fairly obvious statement (Hermes is a trickster) followed by a retelling of a myth I know you know.
MORE LIKE IT:
Hermes is a trickster figure. The Homeric Hymn to Hermes reveals how important this is to his nature by highlighting different aspects of his trickster status.
First, it shows Hermes as a culture hero. When Hermes is newly born, the first thing he does is invent the lyre. Lyres were an important element of Greek culture because poetry preserved key ideas of the culture, and also because young boys learned to sing Homer and other poetry as a major part of their education. Many other trickster figures from different cultures also create tools and give wisdom that benefits humans. For example, Prometheus gave humans fire and ship-building technology (Aeschylus, Prometheus Bound, 90-91).
Second, it shows another aspect of the trickster: his mischief. Hermes steals the cattle of his brother Apollo, taking on someone far more powerful than himself, as tricksters tend to do. Hermes uses his wiles to confuse anyone tracking him, by making the cattle walk backwards and hiding his own footprints. He also uses charm, another trickster tool, when he tries to convince a witness not to tell.
Hermes also has no problem with lying. When his mother asks him what he’s been up to, he claims to be “a helpless little child who knows in his heart very little of evil.” But he ends up by admitting that he is after honor – by stealing it. “I shall go to Pytho and break right into his great house and I shall seize from within plenty of very beautiful tripods and bowls and gold …” (Homeric Hymn 260).
Prometheus was punished for his deceptions, but Hermes was not. Even when Apollo hauls him before Zeus, Hermes knows he has nothing to fear. He is finally honest about his theft, and quickly offers Apollo the lyre to make amends. Since Hermes is a god, it seems that he does not have to fear the kind of punishment Prometheus does. Also, Hermes’ trickery, unlike Prometheus’, did not result in changes in the world order. It was a simple plot – an act of mischief. Hermes’ trickery was all in fun.
ANALYSIS
The second author has been careful to link every element of the myth s/he tells with the points s/he is making. S/he has also made a lot more points, and articulated them effectively: 1) that the HH shows how important the trickster role is to Hermes’ basic identity; 2) that it emphasizes his creative ability, 3) that he is mischievous, and 4) specifically he takes on those more powerful, 5) that he lies easily as well as steals; 6) that he is interested in honor and glory. S/he also 7) contrasts Hermes’ ability to get away with it with Prometheus’ punishment and 8) offers a possible explanation – a point I don't necessarily agree with, but that I hope s/he will pursue further. S/he also uses well-chosen quotes to get across her message and gives appropriate citations.
The first author might have thought of many of these points, but s/he left the myth narration to tell it on its own. But s/he really needed to bring out the key points – I don’t read minds, so I don't know what s/he’s thinking , or where s/he gets his/her ideas from, unless s/he spells them out. Think of it as proving a case – the evidence rarely speaks for itself; you have to present it.
From the second example, you can also see the range of ideas you can find in a single passage, if you are familiar with the surrounding ideas (in this case, the importance of honor and glory in the Greek world, the various kinds of trickster figure and their typical characteristics, the structure of the divine world of the Greeks). This is the level of critical thinking you want to aspire to. (BTW If you look at example 2 now and think "I can't write something like that," no one expects you to do it now, but after learning the concepts involved and reading primary and secondary sources as you research your topic, you will be able to come a lot closer.)
This is an extensive rubric, but it expresses the elements I use in assessing papers. Some of the elements are more for research papers (the last 2 especially) but most apply to all three written assignments. Every paper is not the same and excellence can be achieved in different ways, so the rubric is also a guide for what I consider excellence and what I consider unaccaptable.
A | B | C | D/F |
shows a clearly thought out, well-developed, original thesis statement | has a good thesis statement showing clear thought and/or originality | has an acceptable thesis statement |
thesis statement shows little thought, or there is no thesis statement |
has an effective, individual conclusion that brings together the ideas treated in the paper with insightful commentary | the conclusion follows from the ideas discussed, and the author demonstrates how the points add up | The conclusion brings together the ideas of the paper, but does not go much beyond re-stating them. | Little or no effective conclusion; ideas discussed are not revisited effectively |
clearly written with enough subtlety to balance and express complicated ideas | effectively written so that most ideas come across well | written so that many of the ideas are clear, but may not be completely expressed |
written poorly, with many ideas unclear; written incoherently
|
makes clearly stated arguments and uses evidence to support them | makes clearly stated arguments and often uses evidence to support them | makes arguments that are mostly clear, and uses supporting evidence, although at times the connection may not be well developed | does not make clear arguments, and/or does not use supporting evidence |
uses quotes where appropriate to illustrate key points, and explores them for subtleties | uses quotes where appropriate to illustrate key points | uses quotes, but does not make the connection with the points entirely clear | uses quotes randomly, or at too great length, or inappropriately, or does not use quotes |
shows a in-depth and/or wide-ranging knowledge of the material, which includes things like: secure knowledge of details of narrative, awareness of parallels between different myths, knowledge of names and terms, awareness of “the whole picture” in making a complex point, etc. (not all expected in every paper) | shows knowledge of the material that goes beyond just knowing the myth, and does know that well; uses key names and terms effectively | knows enough to get the job done, but may be vague or slightly erroneous on details and make statements that are too general to describe complex situations | has only uncertain knowledge of the material, or is trying to fake it from Troy, Disney’s Hercules, Clash of the Titans, Kratos, God of War, and that thing we had to read in tenth grade |
without errors or misconceptions | without significant errors or misconceptions | a few errors and/or misconceptions, especially if one detracts from the author's argument | a number of errors or misconceptions that make me doubt the author's knowledge and understanding of key ideas and sources |
shows good awareness of the different agendas / situations of different authors (where appropriate) | knows main authors and in general, acknowledges that different authors give different accounts, and may suggest the effects | does not always know who wrote what, and why that should matter | Authors? What authors? |
original arguments and framing of questions | arguments led by his/her own take on the problem, and treating central points effectively | following book or notes without much putting-together of perspectives or sources | C, but with errors |
Has met the criteria for required research in both primary and secondary sources; has chosen these sources carefully; and if the sources raise questions that require more research to answer, has done this as well | Has met the criteria for required research in both primary and secondary sources, and put some effort into choosing sources that are appropriate and useful to the topic | Has met the criteria for required research in both primary and secondary sources | Has not met the criteria for research, or has used inappropriate or irrelevant sources |
Uses secondary sources to help in framing his/her own argument, and uses these sources effectively to support that argument | Uses secondary sources to support and argument, and makes a good attempt at integrating them into the paper's argument | Uses secondary sources in individual areas, but follows them in their own directions rather than integrating them into his or her own thesis | Does not use secondary sources effectively |
Miscellaneous Writing Guidelines:
Gods (etc.) are not people:
A Greek (or Norse, or Mesopotamian, or any other culture’s) god or hero is not a person. It is a social construct. You cannot speak of a god (etc.) wanting, thinking, deciding, settling for, intending, or any other word that describes the god as having human wishes or concerns. What you can do is tell me things about how the deity is portrayed in specific myths and especially works of literature, and point out where these stories show the god in human terms.
I. Describing Emotions
Wrong: Apollo was always seeking true love, but he never managed to find it. [Apollo spoken of as a human with actual desires]
Right: Myths such as the stories of Daphne and Cassandra, which show Apollo being rejected as a lover, portray him as seeking true love, but failing to find it. [Apollo discussed as a construct who is shown as having human-like desires in some sources]
Wrong: Although he put up with it, Hephaestus always resented Aphrodite for having so many affairs. To get back at her, he made plans to catch her in a golden net in adultery with Ares and humiliate them in front of all the other gods, just as he was humiliated by her cheating. [Hephaestus spoken of as a person with feelings of resentment and as performing actual actions]
Right: The numbers of Aphrodite’s affairs imply that her husband, Hephaestus, had to tolerate it. But Homer’s story of Hephaestus capturing Aphrodite in adultery with Ares in a golden net depicts him as resenting his wife’s affairs and making careful plans about how to get back at her, in this case through humiliating her in front of all the other gods, just as he was humiliated by her cheating. [Hephaestus discussed as a figure who appears in myth as having human-like feelings and acting on them]
II. If/then: what would have happened.
The thing about myth is that it is as it is, and there are lots of variations too. Different authors wrote myths differently, and what we know of the myth is in their hands. The “if/then’s” that appear to our minds are traps the authors (or in some cases, the cultures) have laid for us to fall into so we begin thinking about the dynamics of what has happened. So if you ignore this and leave the reader with only an “if/then” statement, you have walked past an open door. Metaphorically, of course.
Example 1: “If Aphrodite had not inflicted so many passions on Zeus, he would not have punished her by sending her to a mortal lover.”
Comment: Zeus is not a person. The actual text will tell you more and help your argument because then you will have to find a literary or cultural way to explain it. Such as,
ALL of these openings are possible because of going beyond the if/then approach and going into the literature and what the conflict and its outcome might really mean. They all make it clear that we are talking about literary constructs (rather than actual beings) that we can interpret to find literary meaning and cultural interpretation. They all give a secure context for the observation of the Zeus/Aphrodite conflict, which introduces the further points that can be made about it.
Example 2: "If Antigone had not chosen to commit suicide when she was buried alive, everything would have turned out all right."
Comment: In this case, the if/then is a powerful one – it is one that almost every student I’ve talked about this play with has observed. Sophocles has managed things so that we almost inevitably feel it. So it really opens up a place for us to pick at the seams of the story and find the dynamics beneath. What you have to do is contextualize your perceptions in the dynamics of the play (and by implication as the effect created by the author). So you might end up with:
Don’t weaken your argument with your language …
Various kinds of buffering statements can undermine your arguments and give the reader less confidence or interest on what you are saying. Some examples follow. Note: None of these are from real papers. And I am not making representations about the validity of the statements, only that they are better expressed in the second of each pair.
I. Distancing your argument
Distancing: When you look at Artemis and Aphrodite, you may realize that these two goddesses are the opposite of each other in terms of their lives and values, but you will also notice that they are similar in what offends them and how they carry out their rage. [Who is you anyway …]
More Effective: Artemis and Aphrodite are the opposite of each other in terms of their lives and values, but they are similar in what offends them and how they carry out their rage.
[The edit:
When you look at Artemis and Aphrodite, you may realize that these
two goddesses are the opposite of each other in terms of their lives and
values, but you will also notice that they are similar in what offends
them and how they carry out their rage.)]
Explanation: In the first passage: (a) The author’s appeal to the reader as “you” seemed to put the burden of interpretation on the reader, which detracts from the fact that the author was making an interesting observation that not everyone would reach, and which s/he was going to spend the next 3 pages supporting. (b) Too many words: cut a few, so the argument shows. (Or to put it another way: “If you look at the two passages closely, you might observe that the first one simply has a few too many words, and you might think that the author should probably cut a few, in order for the argument to stand out better in the midst of the other words.” :-)
II. Distancing your opening
Distancing: The Greek gods held amazing power and existed for centuries as the most powerful beings in ancient Greece, worshipped and honored, with countless myths told about them. Hephaestus and Ares are two of these gods. These gods, although greatly worshipped, were opposites in almost every way – but they were both children of Hera, and were both lovers of Aphrodite.
More effective: Hephaestus and Ares, two of the 12 Olympian gods, were opposites in almost every way. What they had in common was that they were both children of Hera, and were both lovers of Aphrodite.
[The edit:
(The Greek gods held amazing
power and existed for centuries as the most powerful beings in ancient Greece,
worshipped and honored, with countless myths told about them. Hephaestus
and Ares, are two of these the 12 Olympian gods.
These gods, although greatly worshipped, were opposites in almost every way
– but . What they had in common was that they were both children
of Hera, and were both lovers of Aphrodite.]
Explanation: We all know that the gods were all that. It’s really not necessary to tell us. But what is worse from a writing perspective – the author has used this general statement to keep us from getting into his/her really interesting paper concept: that despite their differences there is a completely different aspect of the Ares/Hephaestus connection. This time I added a few words to the edit – I could have done without them, but stopping the reader, and introducing the “good part” with a phrase that indicates this is a turnaround, can work to pique interest.
Comment on editing: A very few people have everything outlined and logically write sentence by sentence, and if this is you, then where you have to edit (if you make statements like those above) is in how you conceive the flow of the paper and who you are directing it to. Most people may have an outline, but sit down at the keyboard and (whether easily or only through resorting to coffee, tears and prayer) start writing. If this is you, you probably write a few useless sentences to get yourself going. Then all you have to do is look carefully at your beginnings (paper and paragraph) to make sure you are really getting to the point.
III. Opinions
You don’t need to present your “opinions” as opinions separately from the text. Your conclusions about the material presumably arise from your research and should be the guiding force for it. Instead of presenting them as opinions after the fact, make your conclusions the thesis or potential thesis of your paragraph, and support them with your examples.
Wrong: Hera was not able to get revenge on Zeus for his affairs. Instead she tormented the girls he raped or seduced, causing Semele to be burned to a crisp, making Zeus turn Io into a cow and chasing her all across the world, and turning Callisto into a bear. Zeus himsef never suffers. In my opinion, she acted this way because in Greek culture, women could not get revenge on their husbands for their infidelities, so the only way Hera can satisfy her own self-respect and get revenge is by attacking the girls. [Interpretation inserted as an opinion, which undermines its importance]
Right: Hera’s relationship to Zeus’s lovers probably arises from the fact that in Greek culture, women were expected to tolerate their husband’s infidelities and could only fight back in indirect ways. So in mythology, Zeus himself never suffers. Hera can only satisfy her own self respect and get revenge on him through tormenting the girls he raped or seduced: causing Semele to be burned to a crisp, making Zeus turn Io into a cow and chasing her all across the world, and turning Callisto into a bear. [Interpretation put forward as a thesis, which gives it strength as a valid conclusion/idea]
Using Theoi.com
Theoi.com is a compendium of primary sources. At the beginning of each excerpt, the primary source citation is given. When you use material from Theoi.com, cite the primary source in the text, and in your works cited section, list the source by its author, and give its URL at Theoi.com. If you use material authored by Atsma or another secondary-source author on the site, cite him.