RELATE Premarital Questionnaire Part 3 Explanation of Results

Results are compared to a sample of over 5,000 subjects. The RELATE includes many different independent measures that research has found to reliably predict marital outcome (success or failure). Liabilities to marital outcome are negative factors you and your relationship have that the average person and relationship does not have. Assets to marital outcome are positive factors that the average person and relationship does not have. Many times you have scored neutral which means that you are neither better or worse off than the average person or relationship on that factor with regard to marital outcome. No liability or asset alone will predict marital success or failure. Rather, all assets and liabilities are weighed so we can see whether assets outweigh liabilities or vice versa. Only after all three parts are taken can we do this.

Items 1-31: On this section, marital outcome is not predicted by your beliefs or your partner's beliefs, rather it is predicted by how well you and your partner agree on many issues that come up during marriage. Unfortunately, many of these issues are not discussed until after a couple marries.    

Items 32-37: Research has consistently found that the more similar a couple is to each other, the more likely they are to have a successful marriage.

Items 38-45: Certain characteristics you have as a couple also predict marital outcome.

   Length of acquaintenceship (items 38-39): Premarital counselors recommend at least 1 year acquaintanceship. This can include the engagement period. This prevents the effect of what psychologists call imaging which refers to how people put their best foot forward in the beginning. Though not necessarily lying, we often are more agreeable and polite in the beginning of a relationship in order to create a positive image for their potential mate. This disappears later, but it’s important to know who they really are BEFORE marriage. It's interesting to note that too long an engagement also predicts divorce in that a couple has been engaged for more than 3 years is more likely to divorce than a couple with a shorter engagement.

    Cohabitation experience (items 40-43): Couples need to be honest and talk about past relationships. Not only are couples who cohabit before marriage more likely to divorce than couples who do not, but people who have lived with multiple people are even more likely to experience divorce once they get married.

    Premarital pregnancy (items 44-45): Couples who are pregnant before they get married are more likely to get divorced than those who are not. In addition, people who have children before getting married often have many more problems in their marriage than people who do not have children.

Items 46-69: Certain communication behaviors predict marital satisfaction and outcome. You should note which of the responses to dissatisfaction (exit, voice, loyalty or neglect) you score highest in because we will be discussing them in detail in future weeks.